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4 month absence over

So it's been about 4 months since I last wrote here. I stopped writing out of laziness to begin with, then after a short while I was going to pick it back up again but my wrist started bugging me again. I fucked it up in my mid teens from overdoing the guitar practice with barre chords and the like. A couple of years after that I did a similar thing to my ring finger from rehearsing a song over a whole weekend. It's been reasonably ok for the last couple of years but using my computer for two whole days brought it all back, plus some extras pains to go with it, so I took a break.

Anyway, pretty much everyone knows now but me and Melle split up a couple of months ago. There were a few problems that always came back during arguments, and we had a big talk just a few days after we had one of the best days together for a long time. I gave things a lot of thought and concluded that I didn't love her as much as I thought I did, at least I didn't truely love her. I did doubt this after a while and we were talking about things afterwards, with me trying to work out if I'd made a huge mistake but I then found out she always loved Dan more than she loved me. It took her a long time to even admit this to herself, let alone me, and of course I was pissed off for a) being made to feel like a cunt for apparently wasting 7 months of Melle's life, and b) because it ended up feeling like she'd wasted my 7 months after this revelation. As pissed of as I was though (and I do still feel some anger) it did make it easier to decide whether we should still give it ago (as amazingly she wanted us to), despite even later declaring to me that she isn't with Dan purely because he doesn't want her back. In short, I'm glad it's over for whatever reason because things were just never pure, and I'm happy to be single again. Sure I missed her for a little while but it's amazing how all those feeling can disappear once you've had one last no strings shag.

Well now I've moved on I've been chatting to a few people online as it's hard to meet people in person when you don't go out much more than when you're playing gigs, and when you do you only drink water to save money. Having said that, I've been talking to an older woman from Sheffield who came to one of our Rutherfords gigs. We got on really well that night, shared some passionate kisses and are most definitely meeting up again (this Saturday in fact) which I'm really looking forward to. Over the last month or two I've seen Jojo a few times as well - we're both single so why the hell not. It's good because there are no feelings creeping up from either of us as you might expect from an ex girlfriend, just a mutual want and need.

Speaking of Jojo we both went to see The Dark knight last night in Mansfield too, and fuck is it good! I got tired of the Batman movies years ago, then Batman begins came along and after hearing it was much better I took notice, bought it on the cheap and my faith was fully restored. The Dark knight though, for me, tops anything in the series by a mile. It's in a league of it's own for me, no doubt due to Nolan directing. Can't really go much wrong with that guy (Memento, The Prestige, Insomnia) and he's gotta be up there with Tarantino and Smith for me now. For the first time I remember I've watched a movie and immediately want to see the whole thing again instead of waiting weeks / months for a second viewing. It's not too over the top (bar a couple of scenes which I can forgive) and it's got more of a cop / gangster feel to it (Miami vice and Heat spring to mind) which puts it truly in a league of it's own. Sorry for this, but I fuckin loved it!

In other news I've been gigging a hell of a lot with The Rutherfords, and a little with Mantus too. The Rutherfords finished the tour last week around the midlands, some dates with Dead in the queue, others fell into place around that. If I'm honest though a couple of the dates really weren't worth it if you ask me considering the amount of cash we had to fork out to get there (car hire / petrol) and there weren't many at those gigs who weren't in bands. The last two gig we had to pull out of as well due to Lee's illness, but still it was a fun experience.

It'd been a while since Mantus had played until last week too and I forgot how much I enjoyed taking the frontman role. I put more into those two more shows than most gigs we've played in the past and we got a lot of great feedback from both gigs. One of them was a battle of the bands competition too, which we won on the judges vote. Let's see how we do in the final in a couple of weeks! I did also get some second hand feedback too about my vocals - some people who saw us think my vocals aren't quite strong enough, so I need to work on strengthening my screams. Anyone have the movie the zen of screaming? I'd love to see it if you do. This prompted Thew, Mark and myself to talk about bringing some gang vocals into Mantus and Mark has been working on it at home. It'll be interesting to hear how that turns out, but it's definitely something I want, to have us all vocalize in some parts. Thew also told us he was thinking of jacking it in which would have been a damn shame cus he's a fuckin great guy and a brilliant drummer. I guess it was a really good thing we went down well during the gigs last week as those are what changed his mind.

Oh yeah, I had 3 job interviews last week too. Bar staff at The Royal in Derby, cashier in Totesport in Nottingham and Data entry in Alfreton. I haven't heard back from any yet but I was told by the end of this week for a couple of them. I'll be very surprised if i don't get the Tote position, and I can be shop manager within a year if I get that because I've already done it before. Just give me the job so I can fuckin move!

On that note, I'm gonna leave - my hand hurts!

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